I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
