Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
