No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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