I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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