Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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