And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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