The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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