Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
