i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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