i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
