physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
