Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think my tv is drunk
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize