I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
