I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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