if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
