You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
