Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
