yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
