Me too!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I will pee on everything he values.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
