so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
