I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
