Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
