How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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