just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
