omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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