PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
