i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
