You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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