sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
