OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
