drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
