I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
