Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
