Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
