I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
