Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're a waste of cheezeits
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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