That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize