I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
