i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
