Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
