belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
