He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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