Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
