im about as happy as oj after his trial
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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