If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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