Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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