he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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