so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
