we have officially lost it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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