sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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