I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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