Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
