how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
