So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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