She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
