Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
