did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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