that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
