So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
