it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
