Its about making memories worth repressing
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
