Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
